Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
