I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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