Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
