everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
