The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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