Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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