Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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