Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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