Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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