Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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