You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
