i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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