Pappa wants mamma naked
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
