Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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