We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
