You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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