i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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