You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
