she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
