just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Drunk is a universal language darling
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
