Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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