i will never coherently bang her
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
