Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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