Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why didn't you poke me back
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
