Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Welp...herpes.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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