He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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