A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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