You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
