bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
