Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His nipple licking is glorious
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