ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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