So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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