I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
