If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
