I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
