Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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