he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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