theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
