She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
