im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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