rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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