Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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