Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
