I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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