if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
