when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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