I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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