I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
