Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
