Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's the barista slut.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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