listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
