Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So squirting runs in the family.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
