Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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