I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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