Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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